Thinking Ahead to 2012

Once Christmas Day has come and gone, my thoughts turn to the rapidly approaching new year. What will 2012 hold? What do I WANT it to hold?

I am pretty optimistic that 2012 should be better than 2009 (my mother's stroke, and ensuing estrangement from my older sister, "Gigi"), 2010 (my mother's death, and our condo flood and 4 months of repairs), and 2011 (my gall bladder surgery, never-ending cottage renovation nightmares and Home Depot kitchen misadventures, and the death of Gigi's elderly 2nd husband).

This past fall, I mentally worked through a lot of my issues with Gigi. I feel no active wrath or acrimony, and have apologized to her for my part in our estrangement and the hurt I caused. She accepted and reciprocated with her own apology.

Gigi now seems to want to resume some kind of sisterly relationship but, frankly, I am not so sure. Just because I harbour no active ill will or grudges doesn't mean I trust her, or want her to be much of a presence in my life. The bit of e-mail communication we've had has been chock-a-block full of questionable choices she's making re: romantic relationships (ah, suffice it to say the, um, paramours are not completely available) and she's also just lost her driver's licence for 3 months.

I offered sympathy on the driver's licence issue, but have maintained a purposeful silence on the romantic issues - those are land mines. If I told her what I really think, we'd be at each others' throats in no time.

I refuse to be cast in the role of someone whom she can rebel against - she seems to need that in her life. While our parents were alive, she rebelled against them. Now they are gone, and she insists on sharing upsetting things with me that she must know contravene my beliefs, morals and values. Who NEEDS it? NOT me.

One thing that my 2012 won't contain much of is Gigi - that is a fact.

Todo bien. (It's all good.)